I have the right to freak out

A glass breaks, a tire bursts, and I’m instantly agitated. I immediately start to look for a place to hide. Yes, this is my life after Westgate.

Survivors of a terror attack are the only ones who know what they have gone through and what it means to live with trauma. Sometimes we panic, we get anxious…. we totally freak out. God knows why. I do however claim my right to freak out, I am a human, and I am a survivor. Tragic events leave you with emotional wounds that only time, good counseling, and support from friends/family can heal. “You shouldn’t always talk about Westgate” I have been recently told. I need not mention how I put that person in his/her place, I shall leave that to your imagination. No one should tell me what I say and how I should react! Walk in my shoes and then tell me. No one really knows how difficult it is to conduct a “normal” life, smile, and be positive all whilst going through emotional pain. Many sensitive people do imagine and feel our pain, but only a survivor knows what it really means.

Sometimes I come back home after one of “those days”, and just feel like going to bed and hiding from the rest of the world but thank God I have two little angels who make me forget everything as well as an amazing and supportive family. Not to forget the great friends I have, who are always there for me. Freaking out may be “socially unacceptable” because it can cause embarrassment to many, but the heinous act that caused it should be remembered!

I claim the right to freak out!